What is Love?

Hey guys,

I recently had a long discussion with my roommates on love. One of them thinks that the diff between platonic and romantic is physical intimacy, and so after the discussion I wrote him this email, and now I would really like to share it with you guys:

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Dear Nathan (not Mrs Nathan),

The difference between platonic and romantic is not physical intimacy. It is emotional, it is love. It is wanting to share her life, her pain, her joy and throughout all these to be the source of her peace. It is loving and accepting her every imperfection, but yet growing older and better together. It's about two persons' imperfections complementing each other's imperfections.

It is with this someone whom you can be fully vulnerable with and yet be aware that you would not be hurt. It is with this someone that you can be silent, but yet be aware that the committed love you two share need not be verified with acts or words. It is with this someone that you would wake up every morning knowing that she would always be there for you, just as you would be there for her. Are you ready to sacrifice every bit of your time for another person? Are you ready live two lives in one?

When you find this someone you would know it. Falling in love might not be at first sight. It might just be at the moment when you two look at the same leaf floating in the wind and think of the same interpretation. It might be that moment when you know that you would do anything just to make this one lady happy.

Take my advice on this—find someone with whom your perspective of life and personal values are similar, and not simply someone attractive or someone “cool” (haha Americans really love to use this word). We all grow old and haggard after our forties, but it’s not with every old lady that you would want to share your life with and would intrinsically be comfortable with everyday.

Take your time. The most enduring love doesn’t burn wildly. Wild flames burn out in an instant. Enduring love starts out as a spark, and simmers, warms, and becomes more intense over time. The physical intimacy in the relationship should then rightly correspond to the stage of this relationship—it is a marker, not a difference like what you said. Different people express love via different love languages. Some touch, some give tangible gifts, some give quality time, some perform acts of service, some praise. What is yours and what is hers? Also, no two relationships are the same because different people are more receptive to certain love languages than others.

I hope that you’ll find someone who loves you as much as you love her, someone who complements your qualities but share your values. The Bible aptly states, “love is unconditional...love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”…but not every lady can persevere through your common room habits like we can, Nate. Our common room is littered with your belongings. You have to bring in your athlete’s discipline and training organization to tidying our room...and your future house. Hahaha.

You know you really love someone when you give your heart away, but instead feel more alive.

Sincerely,
David